Keeping Warm with your 5 a day

Yea, that's right the 5-a-day initiative is still going strong!

I'll admit, there've been some days, where I didn't get all 5 cups of fruits and veggies I

Souce:Epicurious

needed. Those days were awful, I'd get sluggish, start craving more junk, my attention span went out the window. Basically mental and physical health took a nose-dive.  Just more proof that eating fruits and veggies is a good thing to do.

It's easy to eat smoothies, salads, veggies and hummus when it's warm out, even on our cool NorCal nights. But when winter comes through that gets tough. We've been going through a recent cold spell here in the Bay and I know it's been very cold back East as winter sets in.  Still I've been finding ways to keep the 5-a-day up.

Soups are great and simple way to get in some vegetables. As I write this I'm enjoying an ode to Obasaan: miso ginger broth with rice noodles, kale, eggplant, and atsu-age(deep-fried tofu...surprisingly not as unhealthy as you would think at 110 cals and 9g a protein per serving). Getting 1.5 cups of veggies and warmed up at the same time!

A new soup I discovered this month is Fennel Greens soup. I've made it twice this month and it's the 10th. The first time I made it was basically to recipe. The second time I made it vegan, no butter, and almond milk it came out actually better than with the half n half. The whole batch has about 2lbs of vegetables in it and it's about 6-10 servings. So 1-2 cups of veggies.

Source Chow.com

As much as I love soups, living in a 350 sq ft apartment with electric heat (read: I never ever turn on the heat even during frost warnings. Thank-you Mama for the electric blanket!) it's not the most efficient use of gas. Roasting veggies is a great way to get in some veggies and warm up your place. Some of my favourite roasting combinations:

• sweet potatoes and parsnips, oriental 5 spice, cayenne powder, sesame oil
• eggplant, red peppers, garlic, with sea salt, pepper, and olive oil
• butternut squash, apples, walnuts, with white pepper, cinnamon, touch of brown sugar
• cauliflower with salsa verde 

Bonus: You can use leftovers to easily make a soup. Toss em in the food processor. Then add to a pot with stock/broth/, maybe some cream. Break out the immersion blender for a super smooth.   (My mother gave me my immersion blender too. Ironic, even as an adult Mama’s still helping me stay warm ^_^)

Please remember if you're using a gas or propane stove to keep your place ventilated. Check to make sure your hood ventilates to outside/unconditoned space, you'd be surprised how many ventilate right back into the kitchen. If you don't have an oven hood, open the window while you're cooking. It helps prevent carbon monoxide poisoning, remember there is no safe level of CO and even at low amounts without proper ventilation over time can cause problems such as dizziness, fatigue, headaches, and fainting.

*steps off of energy audit soapbox*

Aren't you glad you read an engineers' blog? Even with the window open your place should stay plenty warm and you can close it after you finish cooking.

Review: Tomato Sherpa

Recently Tomato Sherpa came to my office for a demo about their product. They're one of those recipe-in-box companies that's popping up allot lately. Prepped local ingredients and a recipe delivered or picked up. Then you cook it up at home. It's in servings of two, you can order multiples.

I have to admit that I thought those things were pretty silly. As a seasoned cook I thought "Oh so I pay you and I still have to cook this marginal recipe." It was more an assumption over anything. Images of weight loss programs came to mind. #Chubbygirlproblems. Well I can say that I stand completely corrected.

There are many nights when I'm just too tired to go to the grocer and have no idea what I want to cook. These nites usually end up in take-away or eating out half-sleep at one of my Temescal haunts. If there was a kit with a really good meal all prepped and all I had to do was cook it, I would totally do that. 

Kimia was super friendly and great at answering all of our questions.  You can order one-off or sign up for subscription which saves you a bit overall, they have meals to fit most diets(vegan, gluten free, carnivore, etc.)  and state all their ingredients should you have any allergies.  

Tomato Sherpa generously gave us our choice of their meals for that week. The choices were:

Carrot Miso Soup with Sesame Roasted Brussel Sprouts

Fig-Prosciutto Pizza with Fresh Mozzarella and Red MustardSpiced Lamb and Potatoes with Citrus Tahini Sauce

I was leaning towards the lamb but that Fig Prosciuto Pizza was too tempting.   

Recipe Directions front

The directions were very easy to follow, there was some olive oil (not provided) that was stated in the ingredients but wasn't in the recipe. I like how they also clearly stated the hardware needed at the beginning of the recipe. It's annoying to get mid-way through a recipe and have to start searching for another bowl, etc. 

Wasn't expecting the pre-made crusts. In fact as I was cooking without my glasses when I saw the small balls of smoked mozzerella I thought that was the crust, lol. It took me about 10 minutes of prep.

Shallot, dressing, fig jam

The fig jam was AMAZING, proscuitto not too salty not too bland. the smoked mozzerlla really rounded it out. I loved that it had a healthy dose of greens and the vinagrette was nice, not too over the top so I still tasted the flavor of the greens especially that fennel. mmm.

Recipe Directions Back

Unfortunately the pre-made crust was not good and I'm not that picky about crusts. I'll eat a frozen lean cuisne pizza. I can't quite describe what was wrong with that crust. It tasted as if it was trying to be gluten free or something with an odd aftertaste. I made a "baguette pizza" with the other half of the ingredients. And it was so delicious.  I understand that the goal of this is to be ultra convient but I feel that even for the novice cook, stretching out some pizza dough isn't too hard. Or maybe making it flatbread pizza?  

Pre-made crust...not so muchy

Everybody else in my office enjoyed the other dishes.Especially the Carrot-Miso Soup. Though my co-worker who also had the pizza said the same thing about the crust. She ended up making a salad with the ingredients instead. My boss also chose the pizza and made after hearing our opinion so she made it with pizza dough she had and said it was really good. I feel like I'll definitely order from then again. 

Tomato Sherpa is currently a SF Bay area local operation.  They deliver to offices and to homes through Good Eggs. They have several selections for the week. You either order by 11pm Saturday for Tuesday delivery, or by 2pm Tuesday for Thursday delivery. All orders are available for pickup between 1-4pm. Lucky for me their pick-up location is near my work in West Berkeley. I kinda wish they offered something for us singles, Though in reality when I cook dinner, the left overs usually end up as lunch the next day anyway.  Bonus points for having nutritional content.

Full disclosure: Tomato Sherpa gave me and my other co-workers a meal of our choice free of charge. My review was not affected by this. 

   

Giving Tuesday: 3 Great Non-Profits to Donate to!

Y'know all that money you saved on Black Friday and Cyber Monday?

How about using it to support organizations that help people in your community become more environmentally and mentally healthy?

Today is Giving Tuesday and if you're surfing the  social media wave today I'm sure you're going to see a ton of recommendations to help many great causes.  For me, Sustainability and Suicide Prevention/Mental Health Parity are the causes that I'm most active in supporting.

I think this is a very unique set of recommendations as I've volunteered and/or worked with each one so I can provide a bit more insight at what the great non-profits do.


Community Energy Services Corporation(Marin, Alameda, and Contra Costa Counties in CA)

Okay, I admit extreme bias here. This is where I currently work, where I spend my days helping small business owners become more energy efficient through lighting and refrigeration in the SmartLights program. SmartLights manages lighting and refrigeration rebates that help customers save 40-80% on average on their projects, some projects are even free.  Also assisting in developing more comprehensive measures that target HVAC and Food Service equipment.   So yes, by donating to CESC in a way you're helping me keep my job which while a great cause is hardly inclusive.
CESC does so much more, we're part of the East Bay Energy Watch and Marin Energy Watch. We work with Marin Clean Energy, one of the first Community Choice Aggregations in the country. The SmartSolar program guides homeowners and business owners in Alameda county through the Solar (Electric or Hotwater) process. We do free assessments based on their indivual energy usage to see if Solar is a viable options (Sometimes Energy Efficiency is a better idea, albeit not as sexy). We analyze up to 3 bids and have a recommended contractor list.
In the Residential Department they have several programs to help home owners and renters alike in home repairs, asthma patients have healthier homes, and use less energy thus having lower energy bills. Some programs are free while others are low-cost.
The residential department also perform RECO audits. For property sales or transfers in the City of Berkeley, you must take steps to meet energy efficiency standards and pass an audit. CESC conducts these audits quickly and at a low cost.

So as you can see we're pretty awesome. You can donate to CESC online or by mailing check/money order directly to our office. More info here


GRID Alternatives (California, Colorado, NYC/NJ area and growing)

GRID is non-profit dear to my heart. They are a non-profit solar contractor that provides solar electric systems to low-income homeowners at no cost to them. That's right, free solar!  GRID does this with the help of volunteers and job trainees, who install the systems. That's right again, if you're in an area that does GRID installs you can attend a training and then learn how to install Photovoltaics (PV).  In California they also manage the Single Affordable Solar Homes (SASH) rebate, similarly to CESC's SmartLights rebates. GRID works with Habitat for Humanity, Native American tribes, and others for new construction projects. They also receive donations from companies like: Google, Wells Fargo, Sungevity, and Clif Bar.
Longtime readers of this blog know that I worked at GRID's Bay Area office as the Volunteer and Training Coordinator back in 2011-2012 and continue to volunteer there to this day.  It's one of the best jobs I've ever had and no doubt a big reason I have my current job.  As an Americorps (ClimateCorps) I learned so much about project management and working with different departments. Out in the field I learnt how to bend conduit, wire inverters, and install some of the latest PV technology like Enphase microinverters.  As an engineer I feel this helps me in project management as I've real-word experience of what installers do, I know how difficult it can be, doing a conduit run.

 I worked with the local job-training partners and it was truly inspiring and heart warming to see job-trainees of every type: young, old, high-school drop-outs, veterans, college grads trying to gain valueable skills. Helping them find jobs in the Solar industry was my favourite part of my job. There's a former job-trainee from Laney College who's been working for Solar City as an installer since I helped referred him back 2012 and he recently has been promoted to crew lead!
GRID's growing too and donating to GRID helps them to continue to grow. So if you want GRID to come to your solar state, donating is great way to start. I'm looking at you North Carolina!
You can donate to GRID here. There are options or you can enter your own amount


American Foundation for Suicide  Prevention (Nationwide)
Suicide Prevention is a cause near and dear to my heart. So far I've participated in 2 Out of Darkness walks. I've had a few friends who've died from suicide, and a few more that have attempted suicide. When I was an engineering student I once read that just having an engineering department is one of the factors in determining "Most Stressful schools in America", that really stayed with me.  AFSP helps by doing suicide prevention programs for many including special program targeted at :Veterans, LGBT, Youth, and Minorities. Known for their support for "Survivors of Suicide", the family and friends of people who've died from suicide, they are gradually offering help to a very underserved part of this cause: those who've attempted suicide. This is the group of people who are most at risk, in fact a previous attempt is the greatest risk factor! Unfortunately this group is meant to recover, cope with any mental illness they have and never ever mention it again outside a individual therapist session. It's discouraged in group therapy and understandably, the friends and family of attempters aren't always open to talking about it after time has passed.  Some see it as setback in therapy but I had a friend who attempted who sometimes brings it up to me. They refer to it as their 'reference point' a sign of either taking things out of proportion or that they really need to seek active help so they don't go down that path again. Still, at times they see it as a "I can overcome this, it doesn't have to go there" as a victory even. Attempters too are survivors of suicide and I'm glad that AFSP is helping more.
There are many ways to donate to AFSP learn more about them here.



Thanks for taking the time to read this. No matter what you cause you decided to donate to, it's great. It helps people and communities in need, it keeps people employed. Did you know that while donations during the recession went down, employment in nonprofits went up? After working over 5 years in the non-profit sector I can say there's nothing more fulfilling than doing what you loove and helping people. And after the past year at CESC, making a living wage, that's good too.

Till next time,

November Bay Area Homemade Market

Hey y'all.

I am on hour 36 of "42" hour work week (actually about 45 but that's that nonprofit life). But tomorrow I will be out at the Bay Area Homemade Market selling some Holiday goodness care of Engineered Cupcake

Saturday November 23rd 2-6pm
Firehouse Art Collective Hangar
3192 Adeline Street

It's at a new time  2 - 6pm same place. It's also a great time to order your holiday whole cake, cupcakes, muffins or any of our other offerings. We're still accepting orders for the holidays.

Market Menu

Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting* - This is the classic southern recipe minus the artificial dye. Using natural ingredients for a deep moist red velvet cake and classic Cream cheese frosting.  As with most EC recipes, the cream cheese frosting isn't as sweet as your average but we think you'll love it!
$2.50 Regular  $1.25 chibi

Vegan Sweet Potato Muffins(pictured) - A fall favourite, it's great to have a batch of these around for the holidays. For breakfast or just trying to hold out till it's time to cut into that pie!$2 regular $1.25 chibi


Sock it to me Cake Bundt $2/slice

Vegan Gluten Free Chococo Bundt with Dark Chocolate Coconut Milk Ganache $3/slice

For purchases over $5 debit/credit card is accepted via Square

And if you haven't already like us on Facebook!

See you there,

Quest Completed: 31 day Green Smoothie Challenge

First off a big THANK-YOU to Dominique over at Thick.Fine.Healthy for guest posting last week. That EIT exam was rough. When I got out I felt like James Brown singing "Please Please Please" y'know the cape act...

...Dominique's dramatics are rubbing off on me. Anywho. Back to the topic. A good friend and I decided to do a 31 day green smoothie challenge. N  We started out with pretty simple rules: 1 green smoothie a day with 1 serving of greens and at least 1 serving of fruit. Very quickly into it we realised that we had to lay down some game rules.

1. - no added sugar/honey/agave etc: Instead we used fruit like figs,dates. In general the regular fruit we add sufficed but sometimes you get a batch of fruit that's not so sweet or a batch of greens that's extra grassy
2. - 5 ingredient limit: I had to lay down this law after this smoothie happened: kale, beetroot), beet, sweet potato, blackberries, ginger, flax, almond milk,. Yea I'm totally calling you out on that one. I'm still astonished by that one. But with a 5 ingredient limit still gave us room to play without going over board. 
3. - Drink plenty of water

I have to admit this is probably the first challenge that I saw to the end. I only missed one day about midway through and I felt it. I was so lethargic and cloudy-minded.  Throughout the month I definitely saw the positives of the green smoothie.

• - More energy I had so much more energy and I can already get my hyper states. Thank you ADHD. 
• - Focus Speaking of ADHD I definitely noticed that I had better at focus at work. And sometimes my job while awesome, can involve allot of banal data entry. So that was a big help
• - Lower appetite: In case you didn't know: Green smoothies are frigging HUGE! I don't think I realized this when I agreed to this. Every day I faced around 16oz of green goodness. And as a WLS patient that's about 1 and a quarter of what my stomach can hold at one time. It took me about 2 hours to drink it. Sometimes I had to split it up Breakfast and afternoon snack.
• - Craving more veggies/less junk: I tend to be a snacker at work. And sometimes it can be hard to avoid the little packets of yoghurt raisins, dark chocolate covered coffee beans and other snackage that find myself at work. But I found myself be much less tempted to that and more drawn to fruit salad. Maybe it was the smoothie, or the fact that I know that eating that stuff too much just screws up my mood. 
• - Something for everybody: Remember that crazy smoothie from above with sweet potato!? Yea...I tried to do sweet potato (roasted) and it did me in way too filling. Switching it up every couple days was cool

We used different methods for making our smoothies. He used a good blender I mostly used my immersion blender (aka boat motor). I love my immersion blender. Could make my smoothie right in the cup.

Here were some of our favourites

• -green tea,Cucumber, Pear, Ginger, Kale or Mustard Greens (my absolute favourite)
• - Almond milk, roasted sweet potato, Ginger, Greens, 
• - green tea, cucumber, apple, mint, Greens
• - Water or Almond milk, green powder, banana, carrot juice (the travel drink)
• - Almond milk, avocado, cocoa protein powder, mint, greens (apparently this was a kinda Chocomint smoothie)
• - Green Tea, Strawberries, Peaches, Ginger, Greens 

I'm finally convinced homemade green smoothies are nutritious and filling, a great way to your daily greens. I'm not sure if I'll do a green smoothie 7 days a week. But it's November 1st and today's smoothie? It's almond milk, kale, greenfood powder, peach, and ginger. Good stuff.

For Our Engineering Cupcake :)

Guest Blog by Dominique

Jasmine is taking the EIT Saturday and jokingly asked me to write a post for her. She’s awful at being dramatic and if anything called for it, this test is it! Seriously, you can’t just let a good dramatic episode go to waste! Unfortunately, she’s just not bout that life. But I am. So in the in the (slightly altered) words of Beyonce’s Sir & Boo in Life aka Sir Jay Z:

“I’m going through this. So hopefully, Jasmine won’t have to go through this.”

And by “this” I mean I’m going to cut the fool for her. Normally I write about getting healthy (at Thick. Fine. Healthy.) but today I’d like to write about why Jasmine is amazing.

Jasmine let her crazy friend guest write for her blog. She had no idea what would happen! She knows I got shenanigans OWN DECK! In fact, I have a Google Doc for said shenanigans and I’m opening an account specifically for them.

Jasmine runs Engineered Cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I love them like God loves Jesus. Wait...Is that blasphemous? WAIT! Ummmm….I love cupcakes like I love Jeezy, Prince, Beyonce, Al Green, Missy Elliott and Roger Troutman!

Supporting Evidence:

• We have already developed a cupcake-design service bartering system should we ever live in the same city.
• This system includes a cupcake cap so that I don’t gain my weight back.
• Her cupcakes are clean and I’m a clean eater. LOOK AT GOD!
• I also love cake in any form as well as pie. SHE. MAKES. PIE!

Jasmine is really good at math. Even the ones that make me flinch like somebody was going to throw the book at me. If I don’t marry a man who is good at math AND equally as good at not getting frustrated when me and our kids just don’t quite get it, we’ll be calling Jasmine every night.

My future kid: Mama, I need help with my homework.

Me: CALL JASMINE! YOU KNOW I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS!

Supporting Evidence:

• Everytime I tell my mom about an aforementioned shenanigan followed by, “It’s fine! I’ve done the math!” she immediately yells, “OH LORD!” Because there is a good chance something has gone horribly wrong (-_-). Jasmine doesn’t do that….I’m lying. She does. But with Jasmine and my mama, I have TWO people to check my work! AND SOMETIMES IT’S RIGHT!

Jasmine is also really good at science. I took physical science, biology, chemistry and anatomy in high school and fought to pass all of them. I swear I felt like I was dying every year. Every year, there was a point where I thought I finally got it…..and then I got my test back. I’m pretty sure my teachers graded my tests like O_O. I actually like science but it doesn’t like me back. I’m all, “Hey boo!” And it’s all,

Supporting Evidence:

• She helps make my shenanigans possible! THAT ALONE MAKES HER GREAT! THE STREETS NEED ME!
• I thought Jasmine had brain static after too much studying. It turns out there is a type of Physics called “statics”. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE OTHER TYPES OF PHYSICS BESIDES QUANTUM UNTIL YESTERDAY! Somebody call Alex Trebek!

Jasmine is good at combining her science with her math. I’m the opposite. I know this because last year I needed to know how much dry rice was in a single serving using the cooked rice’s measurement. Jasmine was busy that day and left me to fend for myself so I ended up asking Twitter. Someone retweeted it for me and I had her followers trying to help me. Oddly enough, I figured it out on my own….four hours and a nasty headache later.

Supporting Evidence:

• Again….she makes my shenanigans possible. I have TWO Jasmine-approved projects right now…...and four that she won’t sign off on. She’ll come around.
• She built a coffee machine and a heated crepe vending machine. I don’t really care for crepes (too eggy for me) but AN ENTIRE COFFEE MACHINE WITH SPECIAL SETTINGS! *faints*

Jasmine is a female engineer. She’s an engineer and a woman. AT THE SAME DAMN TIME! She’s basically a unicorn. I’m pretty sure if Future knew her, he would have added a line in the song specifically for her. I’ve decided to make it my life’s work to make sure he knows so he can introduce me to Jeezy and talk about her in a late remix to the song.

Jasmine said she’d write a food science post for my blog. Remember how I said I like science? Well, I love food science. It’s one of the things Jasmine and I have in common. So having a food science post for Thick. Fine. Healthy. makes me happier than a Beyonce stan at the Mrs. Carter Tour (I went July 20th). I’m lying. It’s more like the happiness you feel when the tour dates are posted.

Supporting Evidence:

• We both stan for Sir Alton (Brown)!!!

Jasmine is taking the EIT. As explained, the Engineering in Training Exam is basically an 8-hour math test. Excuse me, I have to go die and be resurrected.

Supporting Evidence:

• Eight. Hours. of Math. The SAT and ACT weren’t that long and I almost didn’t make it! When I took the ACT, I was in a room with no heat...next to the only space heater. At some point, my body gave it to God because I was KNOCKED OUT! O_o
• If you told me I had to take an 8-hour test, I wouldn’t be anywhere near as calm about it as Jasmine is. You’d have to throw a dictionary at me to even remind me what calm, relax, and breathe even meant!
• I’d spend ¼ of my study time writing my eulogy preparing my will, and planning my funeral.
• I’d show up to the test with my ID and SSN card PLUS a copy of my eulogy, my will and a video message to my friends and family. I’d hand it to the test facilitator and at 8am, I’d open my test booklet and die right where I sat.
• They’d call my mama to tell her I died and she wouldn’t even be shocked. She’d be like, “Yeah, I was hoping she’d at least start the test but okay.”

I’m aware that none of those supporting points have anything to do with Jasmine and that’s my point! She’s not doing any of those things! She has accepted her fate, meanwhile I’m over here trying to decide what kind of cupcakes I want at my funeral! I’M NOT EVEN TAKING A TEST SATURDAY!

Since I have the “be dramatic” and “make Jasmine laugh” jobs well taken care of, I’d like to ask that the rest of you send your prayers and/or good vibes Jasmine’s way. Then run and tell your friends and family to do the same because JASMINE IS AMAZING :)

Notes:

If you don’t believe Jasmine is amazing, you just leave your address in the comments and we can schedule a time to fight because WHAT I SAY GOES! Also, Jasmine’s calmness is relative to my own (lack thereof).

Whipped Irish Cream Frosting

This weekend I went to a friends' house warming party. Glad he finally found himself a place in the city. Of course I had to bake something.
I was staring at the Engineered Cupcake menu thinking what to bring, when I realized I can bake whatever I want. Honestly Whipped Cream Frosting is my favourite type of icing in the world. Unfortunately due to the current California Cottage Food Laws I cannot sell whipped cream frosting as it requires refrigeration.  Ever since my gastric bypass surgery, sugar just hasn't been the same. The 15 y.o kid who loved iced pop-tarts, honey buns, and pure lard icing; the 16 y.o Jasmine would have slapped that girl. The 20-something Jasmine would prolly punch her in the stomach. As big of a sweet tooth I have I don't like sickeningly sweet things; as a lady I think that fluffy, creamy, goodness is like heaven on earth.

Since I was making  a rather rich cake I decided this light fluffy icing would do the trick. I love this frosting because I don't have to sift powdered sugar...no matter how careful I am it gets everywhere, lucky it's easy to clean.
This cake is my version of Lighter than air flour-less cake(Epicurious). Which fyi is light the first day...but becomes quite fudgy and dense after the 2nd day. lol. But the cake and frosting held up refrigerated for 3 days, keep the cupcakes (mini and regular) in a plastic sealed container and frosting in pyrex with cover, I just iced them as they were required. About 18 for the house warming, 2 for the housemate, 2 for a friend, the rest were eaten by co-workers.

Fluffy Irish Cream Icing

8 oz Cappucino Chips
4 tbsp Irish Cream (Bailey's in this house)
1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream
1 cup of butter softened


Procedure

1.  Melt Cappucino Chips with Irish cream in double boiler till melted and blended evenly. Set aside to cool
2.  In a large bowl: with a hand or stand mixer, beat butter till fluffy
3. Beat Heavy whipping cream to stiff peaks
4.  Fold in Melted Cappucinno Chips into butter
5.  Fold cappucinno butter mixture gently, so it stays nice and fluffy
6. Put into pastry bag or container till ready to ice cupcakes

Depending on the temperture of your kitchen, you may can ice your cupcakes immedieately. My kitchen is like myself: hot and small (in height anyway :-P) so I had to pop it in the ice box for a bit. I used a pastry tip  #864 by Ateco for a nice simple finish. 

Stay up out of folks' scalps

Talking with one of my buddies from H.S: Dominique over at Thick.Fine.Healthy, we’re chatting

Wedding hair

about how some folk always up in peoples’ lives. From side-eying the chubby girl eating a burger and broccoli to assuming girls who wear their hair short just can’t grow their hair.  I’ve been natural for over a decade and some of the comments I’ve heard…

“Aren’t you mixed? why isn’t your hair like *insert hapa here*”<

“Your hair is long why you keep wearing weave”

“Flat iron your hair for interviews”

“Don’t wear your hair so long”

“I can’t date no girls with nappy hair” <-first date...there was no second

While getting ready for the wedding the question that kept popping up. "How are you doing your hair for the wedding?"  It's no secret that hair is a big deal in black culture. It's one of those things about being black that is just always there. You can be a huge nerd, have no clue about hiphop, you can be raised rich and never known a prejudice in your gilded life. But whether straight, permed, curly, dreaded, braided, weaved, no weave... your black hair is inescapable.

whoo...I gotta lots o' hair

And neither are peoples’ opinions about what you should do with your hair. Mother holding on to one phrase “wear your natural hair for the wedding” as in no weave.  My hair is long thick and pretty strong but it’s soft, I get major shrinkage (length curly vs straightened), and I swim in chlorine.  Having weave help protects my hair and I usually wear it 2-4 inches within my natural hair straightened length. Nobody even realized I was wearing weave. “See, I told you didn’t need all that hair” my mother proudly proclaimed.  lol
When I was twisting my hair for the wedding (coz I’m cheap and have done my own hair for the better part of 7 years) one of my white friends said “I wish black girls didn’t have such a complex about their hair”.   A black guy who is in a crew I used to run said “Breaking out the hot comb for the wedding?” another older chinese lady at my local hair store said “Oh, wedding?” as she tells me about the special they have on relaxers -_-

shrinkage is a beast

Like  juicing, natural hair has become a movement. It makes me happy that black women are learning to love their hair and more of us are learning a key skill of being adult: how to do your own hair. That was the other reason I started styling my own hair, didn’t want to be at the mercy of someone else to look presentable.   But with any movement there’s the fanatics, in addition to all the random comments regarding black hair anyway.  It’s great to embrace natural hair but we have it on our terms. You’re not less “black” for having permed or natural hair, it’s okay if you never wear an afro, and yet these are the things folk still need to learn.

Natural hair is the hair growing from your head - When I stopped relaxing my hair I really had no clue what my hair would look like. My mom would hot comb my hair as a kid, and keep it in braids. My mom has the most perfect disco-fro in her senior pic.

My sister has jet black kinky hair that does the coolest coils.

Me and My sis.
The difference: my style took about 20 extra minutes -_-

Then there's me... well it's kinky...kinda. It sort of fros, it definitely textured. Think kanekalon braiding hair but a bit thicker, that’s my natural dry hair.  In college I grabbed hair gel, afro-sheen and washed my hair only once a week. so I could get an afro.

In media we only see 3 kinds of natural hair: the natural straight/wavy, silky hair.  the amazing always perfect ringlets of curls of varying sizes. And the disco-fro.   And so we think well "My hair doesn't look like that...what's wrong?"  We set to twist outs, braid-outs, gels, and new combs to get that “natural curly” look. Hey if that’s your thing, it’s cool. But if you’re more inclined to buns, ponytails, braids, wigs, or relaxing your hair on the regular it’s fine. I realised I don’t like big hair (on me) it’s not because I’m ashamed of my hair, or of being afro-centric. It’s just that my style preference is different and I’ve worked in kitchens and construction most of my life.

age 13/14 always tons of hair

People go natural for different reasons. Allot of people who knew me in highschool gave me a hard time about not having straight hair. I went natural at 13 for 1 reason: my hair fell out. I had always had hair past my shoulders and I just couldn't deal with collar length hair. I didn't care about health, the enviro, afro-centric, though being in Chemistry did make me side eye the ingredients.  I just wanted long hair. "I rather have long kinky hair than short straight hair".  I still feel that way.  I had plenty of hair with a perm until that “bad one” and a year later I was back to having lots of hair.
If a person goes natural for hair growth, health, cultural, or other reasons. Some people realize it’s not for them and go back to relaxing their hair.These people are not failures, they didn’t succumb, it’s a personal choice of what works for them. Respect it.

It's not about "being black" or "being white".  Blonde hair, extensions, long hair. Seriously this whole "They're just trying to be white" is the silliest thing I've ever heard. The hair growing out of my hapa head is not european. It was at my waist at one point, if it was straight it'd be about Arm pit length.  I like long hair, my hair long, long twists, long braids.  On my natural journey I actually learned that I do not like long straight hair on me. Wanting pink and purple hair was about watching to much anime

Flat-ironed for my 21st birthday

Let your lover be: so you love long straight hair, real or weave, you miss your girly's natural waves. It’s just hair. I’ve seen men straight up leave their women for going natural and women berate their husbands to shave their dreads.  Sure you’re entitled to your opinion and sometimes your lover may need some style help but asking them to perm or weave their hair just for you? not cool.

People ask me if I ever get backlash about my hair in dating. Honestly...no. I get more compliments than anything from everyone. Admittedly when I have worn my hair in straighter styles I do get more attention but is it really good attention?  I’m walking with shades in front of of some random guy trying to holler before he’s even seen my face.  Any man who’s really that concerned about me having straight hair down to my booty needs to date a wig.  

Moral of the story: Stay up out of folks’ scalp

Here come the brides

The ceremony

 I went back to my home Georgia-Carolina to attend my sister-aunt's wedding. It was the most beautiful wedding I ever attended and I had the honour of being one of the hostesses.  FYI: If you ever get asked to be a hostess, wear really comfortable heels and pack flats, lots of running around for sure.

The entire weekend was amazing, from the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner to bowling after at the Epicenter, I unfortunately missed, coming in late the nite before the wedding. The ceremony and reception was held at the Daniel Stowe Botanical gardens in the evening and it was lovely.  The sun began to set as my sister and her wife marched out. 46 "gave" my sister away, my younger cousins were the ring bearers, and my mother helped with the lighting of the unity candle. Candace's sisters and both their friends were bridesmaids.

Y'know in the dozen or so weddings I've been to in my life I've never cried.  But when I saw my sister in her wedding dress, that did me in. They both looked so beautiful, each dress matched their persona so perfectly. And when she rolled up in the reception in that white tux and heels, that was just awesome.

The reception was awesome, even if I was an easy sale: less than 24 hours home and I'm eating shrimp and grits!? Yum.  There was a mac n cheese bar which I heard went especially well topped with pulled pork.  Minnie made one of the most delicious wedding cakes I've ever had in my life. so moist!   The music was
awesome, I danced all night long. There was #photobooth (the hashtag is appropriate it's one of those things that automatically uploads to FB and you can tag yourself) My cousin and Candace's brother did a great job as deejays.

One thing the minister said during the ceremony really stuck with me. "Allot of people thought the world would stop turning if this were to happen" or something to that effect. Obviously it didn't.  I still don't understand why in America, the champion of freedom, we try to inhibit peoples' happiness. Real love is a hard thing to find in this world and I wish my sister and her wife nothing but the best.

" "There is no freedom without solidarity". Today is the occasion to say: "There is no solidarity without love"."- Pope John Paul II