For Our Engineering Cupcake :)

Guest Blog by Dominique

Jasmine is taking the EIT Saturday and jokingly asked me to write a post for her. She’s awful at being dramatic and if anything called for it, this test is it! Seriously, you can’t just let a good dramatic episode go to waste! Unfortunately, she’s just not bout that life. But I am. So in the in the (slightly altered) words of Beyonce’s Sir & Boo in Life aka Sir Jay Z:

“I’m going through this. So hopefully, Jasmine won’t have to go through this.”

And by “this” I mean I’m going to cut the fool for her. Normally I write about getting healthy (at Thick. Fine. Healthy.) but today I’d like to write about why Jasmine is amazing.

Jasmine let her crazy friend guest write for her blog. She had no idea what would happen! She knows I got shenanigans OWN DECK! In fact, I have a Google Doc for said shenanigans and I’m opening an account specifically for them.

Jasmine runs Engineered Cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I love them like God loves Jesus. Wait...Is that blasphemous? WAIT! Ummmm….I love cupcakes like I love Jeezy, Prince, Beyonce, Al Green, Missy Elliott and Roger Troutman!

Supporting Evidence:

• We have already developed a cupcake-design service bartering system should we ever live in the same city.
• This system includes a cupcake cap so that I don’t gain my weight back.
• Her cupcakes are clean and I’m a clean eater. LOOK AT GOD!
• I also love cake in any form as well as pie. SHE. MAKES. PIE!

Jasmine is really good at math. Even the ones that make me flinch like somebody was going to throw the book at me. If I don’t marry a man who is good at math AND equally as good at not getting frustrated when me and our kids just don’t quite get it, we’ll be calling Jasmine every night.

My future kid: Mama, I need help with my homework.

Me: CALL JASMINE! YOU KNOW I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS!

Supporting Evidence:

• Everytime I tell my mom about an aforementioned shenanigan followed by, “It’s fine! I’ve done the math!” she immediately yells, “OH LORD!” Because there is a good chance something has gone horribly wrong (-_-). Jasmine doesn’t do that….I’m lying. She does. But with Jasmine and my mama, I have TWO people to check my work! AND SOMETIMES IT’S RIGHT!

Jasmine is also really good at science. I took physical science, biology, chemistry and anatomy in high school and fought to pass all of them. I swear I felt like I was dying every year. Every year, there was a point where I thought I finally got it…..and then I got my test back. I’m pretty sure my teachers graded my tests like O_O. I actually like science but it doesn’t like me back. I’m all, “Hey boo!” And it’s all,

Supporting Evidence:

• She helps make my shenanigans possible! THAT ALONE MAKES HER GREAT! THE STREETS NEED ME!
• I thought Jasmine had brain static after too much studying. It turns out there is a type of Physics called “statics”. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE OTHER TYPES OF PHYSICS BESIDES QUANTUM UNTIL YESTERDAY! Somebody call Alex Trebek!

Jasmine is good at combining her science with her math. I’m the opposite. I know this because last year I needed to know how much dry rice was in a single serving using the cooked rice’s measurement. Jasmine was busy that day and left me to fend for myself so I ended up asking Twitter. Someone retweeted it for me and I had her followers trying to help me. Oddly enough, I figured it out on my own….four hours and a nasty headache later.

Supporting Evidence:

• Again….she makes my shenanigans possible. I have TWO Jasmine-approved projects right now…...and four that she won’t sign off on. She’ll come around.
• She built a coffee machine and a heated crepe vending machine. I don’t really care for crepes (too eggy for me) but AN ENTIRE COFFEE MACHINE WITH SPECIAL SETTINGS! *faints*

Jasmine is a female engineer. She’s an engineer and a woman. AT THE SAME DAMN TIME! She’s basically a unicorn. I’m pretty sure if Future knew her, he would have added a line in the song specifically for her. I’ve decided to make it my life’s work to make sure he knows so he can introduce me to Jeezy and talk about her in a late remix to the song.

Jasmine said she’d write a food science post for my blog. Remember how I said I like science? Well, I love food science. It’s one of the things Jasmine and I have in common. So having a food science post for Thick. Fine. Healthy. makes me happier than a Beyonce stan at the Mrs. Carter Tour (I went July 20th). I’m lying. It’s more like the happiness you feel when the tour dates are posted.

Supporting Evidence:

• We both stan for Sir Alton (Brown)!!!

Jasmine is taking the EIT. As explained, the Engineering in Training Exam is basically an 8-hour math test. Excuse me, I have to go die and be resurrected.

Supporting Evidence:

• Eight. Hours. of Math. The SAT and ACT weren’t that long and I almost didn’t make it! When I took the ACT, I was in a room with no heat...next to the only space heater. At some point, my body gave it to God because I was KNOCKED OUT! O_o
• If you told me I had to take an 8-hour test, I wouldn’t be anywhere near as calm about it as Jasmine is. You’d have to throw a dictionary at me to even remind me what calm, relax, and breathe even meant!
• I’d spend ¼ of my study time writing my eulogy preparing my will, and planning my funeral.
• I’d show up to the test with my ID and SSN card PLUS a copy of my eulogy, my will and a video message to my friends and family. I’d hand it to the test facilitator and at 8am, I’d open my test booklet and die right where I sat.
• They’d call my mama to tell her I died and she wouldn’t even be shocked. She’d be like, “Yeah, I was hoping she’d at least start the test but okay.”

I’m aware that none of those supporting points have anything to do with Jasmine and that’s my point! She’s not doing any of those things! She has accepted her fate, meanwhile I’m over here trying to decide what kind of cupcakes I want at my funeral! I’M NOT EVEN TAKING A TEST SATURDAY!

Since I have the “be dramatic” and “make Jasmine laugh” jobs well taken care of, I’d like to ask that the rest of you send your prayers and/or good vibes Jasmine’s way. Then run and tell your friends and family to do the same because JASMINE IS AMAZING :)

Notes:

If you don’t believe Jasmine is amazing, you just leave your address in the comments and we can schedule a time to fight because WHAT I SAY GOES! Also, Jasmine’s calmness is relative to my own (lack thereof).

Whipped Irish Cream Frosting

This weekend I went to a friends' house warming party. Glad he finally found himself a place in the city. Of course I had to bake something.
I was staring at the Engineered Cupcake menu thinking what to bring, when I realized I can bake whatever I want. Honestly Whipped Cream Frosting is my favourite type of icing in the world. Unfortunately due to the current California Cottage Food Laws I cannot sell whipped cream frosting as it requires refrigeration.  Ever since my gastric bypass surgery, sugar just hasn't been the same. The 15 y.o kid who loved iced pop-tarts, honey buns, and pure lard icing; the 16 y.o Jasmine would have slapped that girl. The 20-something Jasmine would prolly punch her in the stomach. As big of a sweet tooth I have I don't like sickeningly sweet things; as a lady I think that fluffy, creamy, goodness is like heaven on earth.

Since I was making  a rather rich cake I decided this light fluffy icing would do the trick. I love this frosting because I don't have to sift powdered sugar...no matter how careful I am it gets everywhere, lucky it's easy to clean.
This cake is my version of Lighter than air flour-less cake(Epicurious). Which fyi is light the first day...but becomes quite fudgy and dense after the 2nd day. lol. But the cake and frosting held up refrigerated for 3 days, keep the cupcakes (mini and regular) in a plastic sealed container and frosting in pyrex with cover, I just iced them as they were required. About 18 for the house warming, 2 for the housemate, 2 for a friend, the rest were eaten by co-workers.

Fluffy Irish Cream Icing

8 oz Cappucino Chips
4 tbsp Irish Cream (Bailey's in this house)
1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream
1 cup of butter softened


Procedure

1.  Melt Cappucino Chips with Irish cream in double boiler till melted and blended evenly. Set aside to cool
2.  In a large bowl: with a hand or stand mixer, beat butter till fluffy
3. Beat Heavy whipping cream to stiff peaks
4.  Fold in Melted Cappucinno Chips into butter
5.  Fold cappucinno butter mixture gently, so it stays nice and fluffy
6. Put into pastry bag or container till ready to ice cupcakes

Depending on the temperture of your kitchen, you may can ice your cupcakes immedieately. My kitchen is like myself: hot and small (in height anyway :-P) so I had to pop it in the ice box for a bit. I used a pastry tip  #864 by Ateco for a nice simple finish. 

Stay up out of folks' scalps

Talking with one of my buddies from H.S: Dominique over at Thick.Fine.Healthy, we’re chatting

Wedding hair

about how some folk always up in peoples’ lives. From side-eying the chubby girl eating a burger and broccoli to assuming girls who wear their hair short just can’t grow their hair.  I’ve been natural for over a decade and some of the comments I’ve heard…

“Aren’t you mixed? why isn’t your hair like *insert hapa here*”<

“Your hair is long why you keep wearing weave”

“Flat iron your hair for interviews”

“Don’t wear your hair so long”

“I can’t date no girls with nappy hair” <-first date...there was no second

While getting ready for the wedding the question that kept popping up. "How are you doing your hair for the wedding?"  It's no secret that hair is a big deal in black culture. It's one of those things about being black that is just always there. You can be a huge nerd, have no clue about hiphop, you can be raised rich and never known a prejudice in your gilded life. But whether straight, permed, curly, dreaded, braided, weaved, no weave... your black hair is inescapable.

whoo...I gotta lots o' hair

And neither are peoples’ opinions about what you should do with your hair. Mother holding on to one phrase “wear your natural hair for the wedding” as in no weave.  My hair is long thick and pretty strong but it’s soft, I get major shrinkage (length curly vs straightened), and I swim in chlorine.  Having weave help protects my hair and I usually wear it 2-4 inches within my natural hair straightened length. Nobody even realized I was wearing weave. “See, I told you didn’t need all that hair” my mother proudly proclaimed.  lol
When I was twisting my hair for the wedding (coz I’m cheap and have done my own hair for the better part of 7 years) one of my white friends said “I wish black girls didn’t have such a complex about their hair”.   A black guy who is in a crew I used to run said “Breaking out the hot comb for the wedding?” another older chinese lady at my local hair store said “Oh, wedding?” as she tells me about the special they have on relaxers -_-

shrinkage is a beast

Like  juicing, natural hair has become a movement. It makes me happy that black women are learning to love their hair and more of us are learning a key skill of being adult: how to do your own hair. That was the other reason I started styling my own hair, didn’t want to be at the mercy of someone else to look presentable.   But with any movement there’s the fanatics, in addition to all the random comments regarding black hair anyway.  It’s great to embrace natural hair but we have it on our terms. You’re not less “black” for having permed or natural hair, it’s okay if you never wear an afro, and yet these are the things folk still need to learn.

Natural hair is the hair growing from your head - When I stopped relaxing my hair I really had no clue what my hair would look like. My mom would hot comb my hair as a kid, and keep it in braids. My mom has the most perfect disco-fro in her senior pic.

My sister has jet black kinky hair that does the coolest coils.

Me and My sis.
The difference: my style took about 20 extra minutes -_-

Then there's me... well it's kinky...kinda. It sort of fros, it definitely textured. Think kanekalon braiding hair but a bit thicker, that’s my natural dry hair.  In college I grabbed hair gel, afro-sheen and washed my hair only once a week. so I could get an afro.

In media we only see 3 kinds of natural hair: the natural straight/wavy, silky hair.  the amazing always perfect ringlets of curls of varying sizes. And the disco-fro.   And so we think well "My hair doesn't look like that...what's wrong?"  We set to twist outs, braid-outs, gels, and new combs to get that “natural curly” look. Hey if that’s your thing, it’s cool. But if you’re more inclined to buns, ponytails, braids, wigs, or relaxing your hair on the regular it’s fine. I realised I don’t like big hair (on me) it’s not because I’m ashamed of my hair, or of being afro-centric. It’s just that my style preference is different and I’ve worked in kitchens and construction most of my life.

age 13/14 always tons of hair

People go natural for different reasons. Allot of people who knew me in highschool gave me a hard time about not having straight hair. I went natural at 13 for 1 reason: my hair fell out. I had always had hair past my shoulders and I just couldn't deal with collar length hair. I didn't care about health, the enviro, afro-centric, though being in Chemistry did make me side eye the ingredients.  I just wanted long hair. "I rather have long kinky hair than short straight hair".  I still feel that way.  I had plenty of hair with a perm until that “bad one” and a year later I was back to having lots of hair.
If a person goes natural for hair growth, health, cultural, or other reasons. Some people realize it’s not for them and go back to relaxing their hair.These people are not failures, they didn’t succumb, it’s a personal choice of what works for them. Respect it.

It's not about "being black" or "being white".  Blonde hair, extensions, long hair. Seriously this whole "They're just trying to be white" is the silliest thing I've ever heard. The hair growing out of my hapa head is not european. It was at my waist at one point, if it was straight it'd be about Arm pit length.  I like long hair, my hair long, long twists, long braids.  On my natural journey I actually learned that I do not like long straight hair on me. Wanting pink and purple hair was about watching to much anime

Flat-ironed for my 21st birthday

Let your lover be: so you love long straight hair, real or weave, you miss your girly's natural waves. It’s just hair. I’ve seen men straight up leave their women for going natural and women berate their husbands to shave their dreads.  Sure you’re entitled to your opinion and sometimes your lover may need some style help but asking them to perm or weave their hair just for you? not cool.

People ask me if I ever get backlash about my hair in dating. Honestly...no. I get more compliments than anything from everyone. Admittedly when I have worn my hair in straighter styles I do get more attention but is it really good attention?  I’m walking with shades in front of of some random guy trying to holler before he’s even seen my face.  Any man who’s really that concerned about me having straight hair down to my booty needs to date a wig.  

Moral of the story: Stay up out of folks’ scalp